Well, folks, it sure has been awhile. In August I wasn’t sure if I’d ever made it to this point – the point where all that remains of my 18 credits is one test and the remnants of a paper. Where only one semester of my undergraduate career remains. The point where my large, unwieldy directed study is done. The point where no farm work remains, although the same can’t be said of farm meetings. The point where I happily turned 30. The point where I have occasional meetings with M to check-in and continue honing my new skills, but those meetings aren’t the only thread holding my sanity together. The point where the sadness is more of a faint, background note than a clanging gong. But I did, I made it, and it feels so good.
In fact, this may very well be the happiest I’ve been in my entire life. There have certainly been more exciting times in life – India? Thailand? Iceland? – but this is, by far, the most consistently peaceful and content I’ve ever felt. I type and erase, type and erase, trying to find the words to explain what happened, what it feels like but I can’t nudge the right words into the right places. It just feels good and it’s (mostly) felt that way for several months now. I feel loved, safe, secure. And there’s no better way to head into the holidays. Xoxo