“The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change…”
– Charles Morgan
Within 48 hours I’ve met, for the first time, a large swath of my mother’s extended family, said my goodbyes to a job of six years, and had my final appointment with my amazing therapist, M. In the broader span of a few weeks I’ve finally acquired a pet snake, starting purchasing supplies for my classroom, spent three weeks in out-of-town teacher training, and have been amazed at how well my newly acquired self-care skills have been serving me.
In short, I’m in the middle of all kinds of transitions and I’m handling it much better than I could possibly have imagined. I feel relatively relaxed and calm. I feel capable of dealing with whatever comes my way. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to start my first year teaching. I’ve put in place all kinds of support systems so help me navigate this brave new world and I think I’m up to the challenge.
M and I both cried a little bit at our last meeting this morning. I’m going to miss her – she was a cornerstone of my healing process. On the other hand, she did a fantastic job of preparing me to take on my own life. It’s bittersweet that I feel ready to leave her office and strike out on my own.
The most hectic part of my summer is over. Wednesday P and I head north to spend a few days cabining with family. After that I have a precious bit of R & R before my first workshop starts.
It’s not perfect, it never is. But it feels nice to be at peace with where I’m at and where I’m going. I’m learning to live in flux and find contentment despite change. While I’ve said a lot of goodbyes I’ve also met a lot of new friends and family. Transition is not easy for the anxious part of me, but I’m leaning into it. And it feels right.